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Goof Zone 8: Year of the Goof

To listen to the episode, click hereTo subscribe, click here to find the site feed on iTunes, or search "head falls off" into any good podcast directory.

Jackson and Destiny return for another episode of your favourite podcast about Mental Health! The long and storied saga of Jackson vs iTunes enters its final chapter, and soon Goof Zone will emerge on the storefront for the Year of the Goof! It's a mostly chill episode this week as Jackson and Destiny chat about the year ahead!

If you want to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, the combined feed for all of Jackson’s casts is here, and before the next episode the iTunes feed will be here

Music Used
A Winner Needs A Wand - Sufjan Stevens
In Cauda Venenum - The Dear Hunter
Starman - David Bowie

The Real World: My Room

When I was in Primary School, I drew a pencil drawing of my shoe. I must have been incredibly chuffed with it, because I went and got it framed, and thirteen years later it sits proudly as the final remaining decoration on my wall.

I used to have posters, plastering my personality across my room through the bands I liked, through the shows I watched, like most every other child I knew. Eventually, they started getting old as paper does, and I stopped replacing them. Now the walls are covered with tiny marks, disturbances where once blu-tac was affixed, propping up this tapestry of identity.

My face, too, is covered in scars. At age fourteen, like many others, I got hit with acne, but being a red headed kid who once wore sunscreen at night, it really did a number on me. My soft skin hardened up, deep red lines started cutting across my chin and down my neck. I stopped getting new posters around the same time I stopped buying new clothes.

We're linked like that, my room and I. For the better part of the last few years, I haven't felt real, my brain somehow able to conceptualise a version of me that exists purely as words on a twitter page, a voice into a microphone. Yet every day, I would get out of my bed, my hair sometimes sticking to the faded stickers put on by an over-eager six year old who really, really liked Robot Wars. And it'd hurt a little, but I'd probably smile.

When my mental breakdown came, it started in my room, but it waited until I was living in a tiny little student flat, no more than two armspans wide, to really take affect. I didn't talk face to face, I slept through daylight hours, and when I woke I was greeted by these painted white walls, walls that weren't my own. I had never felt less real.

And now I sit, back in that room, at the computer with a bad-for-a-ten-year-old drawing of a shoe hanging over my head. I don't feel good, but I do, at last, feel real. I transferred schools, cleared the desk, and even bought myself a chair, all to return back to the space where I have some control, where I can feel like I exist.

Which brings us to the point of this, and future articles. One of the difficulties of my Asperger's is processing and accepting unfamiliar spaces, which means my connections with the spaces in my life are very intense and personal, and I rely on those connections to keep going each and every day. I wanted to explore that in writing, and through short stories and descriptions document my relationship with the spaces I exist in.

So please enjoy The Real World, an irregular documentation of the spaces in my life, and what they mean to me. It's going to be the most intimate series of mine yet, exploring my lived experience with mental illness openly and frankly, but I hope it's ultimately an uplifting affair. 

After all, last week, I put a couple tsum tsums on top of my speakers, arranging them to look as cute as can be. Maybe this weekend, I'll order some new posters, and some point in the future I'll go out shopping for some clothes to wear on my very real, very loved body. And when I do, I'll turn back and smile at that shitty little shoe, and I'll send thanks to my faithful room.

Goof Zone 7: Creativity Week

 

To listen to the episode, click hereTo subscribe, click here to find the site feed on iTunes, or search "head falls off" into any good podcast directory.

We welcome back the Goof Zone for another beautiful month, as Jackson and Destiny at last have their Creativity Conversation! Come inside for a talk about how to balance creative drive with mental illness, the reasons our hosts are driven to create, and how to express creativity healthily.

This episode gets into some of our most intense subject matter, however it’s all handled in an open and positive way, this is Real Talk in as safe a space as possible!

Content Warning: Death, Resentment, Depression, Anger, Fatalism

Music Used
The Mountain Goats – Sax Rohmer #1
The Velvet Underground – I Found A Reason
The One AM Radio – Heat Lightning
Coheed and Cambria – The Suffering

Goof Zone 6: The Weird Al Tribute Hour

To listen to the episode, click here.  To subscribe, click here to find the site feed on iTunes, or search "head falls off" into any good podcast directory.

Schedule woes have made the Goof Zone a hard zone to reach, but Destiny and Jackson come together to release yet another fantastic episode! Today, one man reign supreme, a man who writes songs... that sound like other songs. That man is none other than Sir. "Weir Al" Yankovic Esq, and we pay tribute to him on this hallowed day.

By which I mean, we talk about in for a little bit then go off on two cool tangents for the rest of the episode!

The episode is mostly light, but in the second half we get into anxieties about death, ageing and loneliness, as is our brand, so a heads up on that! Otherwise it's just your regular ol' goofy discussions, I hope you come on in and enjoy the show.

Music Used
"Weird Al" Yankovic - I Lost On Jeopardy
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Jurassic Park
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Everything You Know Is Wrong
"Weird Al" Yankovic - The Saga Begins

On Crowds

Sometimes I sit and ask myself who it was that put so many people into such small a space. On good days, when I’m lucky, I can shrink within myself and let the people pass over me as waves over sand. I move without effort, directing myself with barely a thought and am carried along with the tide. Good days are few and far between.

Other times, I stand firm and fierce but am immediately reminded of how unfortunately real I am. My body collides with other bodies, each touch locking my joints and sending electric panic down into my stomach. I have no senses left on which I can steady myself, the exit lost to the sight of a hundred smiling faces; the directions lost to the sound of a hundred conversations all forcing their way inside my skull.

Yet when the sun has set, and I sit unable to keep my limbs from shaking back and forth. I forget what it feels like feel the weight and the force of every person in a crowd, I forget my brain will always be my own, and I hope that tomorrow will be a good day.

Goof Zone 5: No Country For Old Casts

To listen to the episode, click here. To subscribe, click here to find the site feed on iTunes, or search "head falls off" into any good podcast directory.

Welcome, welcome to another edition of the Goof Zone! My computer is still busted so we're not quite upto full capacity yet, but a new one is on the way, and the early episode schedule blues will be a thing of the past. But even with the difficulties, we got our good friend Matthew Marko in to talk about their relationship learning and self-motiviation!

It's going to be the beginning of a long chain of guests on this show, something we'd love to get into, so let us know on twitter if guesting is something you'd be into!

Music Used
The Cure - Friday I'm In Love
David Bowie - Space Oddity
The Style Council - Walls Come Tumbling Down
Lit - My Own Worst Enemy

Goof Zone 4: Winners Don't Melt Steel Beams

To listen to the episode, click here. To subscribe, click here to find the site feed on iTunes, or search "head falls off" into any good podcast directory.

It's here, at last, episode 4 of the Goof Zone! It's been a rocky summer for us, with the equipment breakages preventing us from hitting the schedule that we want to. If you want to help out with that, then there's one week left to donate to my gofundme.

The episode itself is our lightest time yet, which isn't saying much considering how intense our opening episodes have been. We talk about adulthood milestones, and how we measure ourselves against them, and whether there's any value in that. But mostly, we just find ourselves unable to stop talking about 9/11 and Ronald Reagan.

Content Warnings: it's a light month, there's talk about anxiety and loneliness, but nothing too intense.

Music This Episode
Stars Of The Lid - Don't Bother They're Here
Squeeze - Up The Junction
The Mountain Goats - No Children
My Chemical Romance - Vampire Money

Goof Zone 3: Mister Fight Club

To listen to the episode, click here. To subscribe, click here to find the site feed on iTunes, or search "head falls off" into any good podcast directory.

It's been four weeks since episode 2 of the Goof Zone, for which we apologise greatly! In fact, this was recorded a couple weeks ago, but I've been unable to edit it due to my computer breaking. If you want to help Goof Zone get on a regular schedule, and help fund my other writing, please check out the Go Fund Me I'm running: www.gofundme.com/y6zwxk

The episode itself is a talk about ways in which we hold onto our sense of self when the times get particularly tough. It's a great episode, we're hitting our stride, and hopefully we'll be able to see you in two weeks! Please donate!

Songs this week:

  • Mustache Man (Wasted) by Cake
  • Army by Ben Folds Five
  • Daydream by The Smashing Pumpkins
  • Cotopaxi by The Mars Volta

Trigger Warnings: Self Harm, Isolation, Self-Destructive Attitudes to Self Help

Goof Zone 2: Low Uterus

To listen to the episode, click here. To subscribe, click here to find the site feed on iTunes, or search "head falls off" into any good podcast directory.

Welcome to the Goof Zone!

For the second episode, we're talking about anxiety in public, and the coping mechanisms we employ to get through any difficult situations. But as well as the real talk, there are goofs once more, the Saga Of Linkin Park continuing again, and ridiculous voices abound. It's a great second episode to a cool podcast that we want to be funny, informative, and helpful to any fellow folk dealing with Mental Illness every day.

We still don't have the website set up, monetary problems are making us wait, but for now you can listen here, and if you want to subscribe, you can subscribe on iTunes!:

Content Warnings: Anxiety, Depression, Social Anxiety, Therapy

Goof Zone 1: I've Heard Eighth Wave Ska, For I Am The Lord

To listen to the episode, click here. To subscribe, click here to find the site feed on iTunes, or search "head falls off" into any good podcast directory.

Welcome, one and all, from far and from wide, to the first instalment of the Goof Zone. It's a new podcast from myself and Destiny Sturdivant about Mental Health and general silliness. This episode serves as a sort of untested pilot for the show, it's loose and introductory, and we're still getting the bearings on what we want the Goof Zone to actually be. But such is the way when starting anything new! 

A new show will be posted fortnightly, our aim is to build an inclusive and safe space to discuss mental illness, depression, anxiety, and the ways we get through the day. Hopefully it'll end up a funny and helpful show that makes everybody feel less alone <3.

The show doesn't have its own website or podcast feed yet, we're setting lots of things up on the back end, but for now it'll rest on this blog, and if you want to Subscribe on iTunes then click here for the complete feed of the podcasts on this website!

Content Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Grief, Loneliness and Bullying.